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← Japanese etiquette

Everyday life · Culture · Manners in Japan

Greetings and bowing

You do not have to bow perfectly to be welcome. A smile, a slight nod and a polite "sumimasen" go a long way. Knowing a few habits, such as using family names with -san and keeping your voice down, helps you fit in quickly.

Handshakes
Fine with visitors, so is a nod
Names
Family name plus -san
Key word
Sumimasen: excuse me, sorry, thanks

Do

  • Nod or bow slightly when you greet, thank or apologise.
  • Use a family name plus -san, such as Tanaka-san, until invited to do otherwise.
  • Say sumimasen to get attention, to apologise or to thank someone for their trouble.
  • Keep your voice and gestures moderate in public.

Avoid

  • Do not use first names, or -chan and -kun, with people you do not know well.
  • Do not hug or kiss as a greeting unless the other person starts it.
  • Do not point at people. Use an open hand to indicate someone.

How to bow

The bow (ojigi) shows respect, thanks or apology. A small nod of about 15 degrees suits everyday greetings and thanking a shop assistant. About 30 degrees is for showing respect, and about 45 degrees for deep thanks or a serious apology. Bend from the waist with your back straight, keep your eyes lowered, and come up smoothly.

Visitors are not expected to bow, and a handshake is common with foreigners, especially in business. If someone bows to you, a small bow or nod back is enough. Choose a bow or a handshake, not both at once.

Names and titles

Japanese names are given family name first, so Tanaka Hanako is Ms Tanaka. Use the family name with -san, which works for anyone regardless of gender or marital status. -sama is more formal, as in customer service, and teachers and doctors are often called sensei.

First names are for family and close friends. Wait to be invited before using them, and avoid -chan and -kun unless you are close.

Words that smooth everyday life

Sumimasen does many jobs: excuse me, sorry, and thank you for going to the trouble. Arigatō gozaimasu is thank you, and onegai shimasu is please. Shitsurei shimasu means excuse me when you enter or leave a room or an office.

People meeting for the first time say yoroshiku onegai shimasu, a phrase that means roughly "please be kind to me". Colleagues greet each other with otsukaresama desu, which means thanks for your hard work.

Reading the room

Communication is often indirect. A hesitant "chotto…" ("that is a bit…") or a long pause usually means no, and a polite "we will consider it" may mean the same. Avoid pushing for a direct answer.

Public behaviour is calm: loud laughter, big gestures and public affection are unusual. Keeping your voice low is a simple way to show consideration.

Good to know

  • A smile and a slight nod work in almost every situation.
  • Repeat a new name back with -san to show you caught it.
  • If you make a mistake, a quick "sumimasen" and a small bow is the normal response. Nobody expects more from a visitor.
  • If you learn only two phrases, make them sumimasen and arigatō gozaimasu.

Words you will hear

お辞儀 ojigi
bow
すみません sumimasen
excuse me, sorry, thank you
ありがとうございます arigatō gozaimasu
thank you
〜さん -san
polite title after a name
よろしくお願いします yoroshiku onegai shimasu
please treat me well
先生 sensei
teacher, doctor

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See also

Next guide Shoes, slippers and visiting a home

General practice in Japan. Formality varies by setting. Customs vary by region, place and family, and they change over time. When in doubt, follow the signs, watch what others do, or ask politely. Being polite and trying matters more than getting every detail right.