Do
- Say itadakimasu before eating and gochisōsama deshita when you finish.
- Use the wet towel (oshibori) for your hands only.
- Rest your chopsticks on the holder, or on the paper sleeve, when you are not using them.
- Pour drinks for others, let them pour for you, and say kanpai together before the first sip.
- Pay at the register on your way out, unless the restaurant says otherwise.
Avoid
- Do not stick chopsticks upright in rice. It echoes a funeral ritual.
- Do not pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks, or spear food with them.
- Do not hover your chopsticks over the dishes while deciding.
- Do not leave a tip. It may be handed back to you.
Before and after the meal
Say itadakimasu ("I humbly receive") before you eat, with your hands together if you like, and gochisōsama deshita ("it was a feast") when you finish. At a restaurant you say it to the staff on your way out.
Wipe your hands on the wet towel (oshibori) when it arrives, and fold it back when you are done. In a group, wait until everyone has been served before you start, and begin with a toast, kanpai.
Using chopsticks
Place your chopsticks on the rest (hashi-oki) between bites. A few habits are considered bad manners: standing them upright in rice (tsukitate-bashi), which resembles an offering at a funeral; passing food from chopsticks to chopsticks (hashi-watashi), which mirrors a funeral custom of passing bones; spearing food; and waving or hovering them over dishes.
When you take food from a shared dish, use the serving chopsticks if there are any. If there are not, turn your own chopsticks around and use the clean ends.
Noodles, soup and rice
Slurping noodles is fine and shows you enjoy them, and it cools them as you eat. Lift small bowls, such as rice and miso soup, toward your mouth. Drink soup straight from the bowl and use chopsticks for what is inside. Put the lid back on a lidded bowl when you finish.
With sushi, you can use your fingers or chopsticks. Dip the topping, not the rice, lightly into the soy sauce.
Paying, tipping and drinking out
Tipping is not part of Japanese service culture. You pay at the register, often when you leave the table, or at a ticket machine at the door in cheaper restaurants. Hand cash to the tray on the counter instead of into the cashier's hand.
At an izakaya, a small starter (otoshi) is served and charged automatically. Drinks are shared with the table, and you pour for others and let them pour for you. Splitting the bill (warikan) is normal among friends.
Good to know
- Call the staff with "sumimasen", or press the call button on the table. Staff will not hover.
- Popular restaurants may have queues, so put your name on the list and wait.
- Tell the staff about allergies before ordering. English support varies, so a card in Japanese helps.
- You will often be asked "how many people?". Answer with your fingers if you need to.
Words you will hear
- いただきます itadakimasu
- said before eating
- ごちそうさまでした gochisōsama deshita
- said after eating
- 箸 hashi
- chopsticks
- おしぼり oshibori
- wet hand towel
- 乾杯 kanpai
- cheers
- お通し otoshi
- starter charged at an izakaya
- 割り勘 warikan
- splitting the bill
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See also
General practice in Japan. Manners are relaxed at casual places. Customs vary by region, place and family, and they change over time. When in doubt, follow the signs, watch what others do, or ask politely. Being polite and trying matters more than getting every detail right.